the promise

could you...or, would you accept this unusual invitation to think backwards from the safety of now...to become a memory...and lay in my bed once again. travel back to those fleeting moments where I still live in your mind waiting like an unopened book...and as those haunting melodies return...where before you heard your own critical self-chatter, this time you instead allow every defense...and every doubt...all inclinations of judgement to escape back into absurdity...and like magic within the depths of your own naked self acceptance your are able to see me there beside you as I truly am...wanting to hold you...but afraid. When you determined that transmitting my poetry was ridiculous and disrespectful I can honestly tell you my world changed. I hated you for exposing my self-indulgent means to manipulate your perception of me despite a concrete facade of empathy for what I assumed you misunderstood during those fateful hours you lay beside me in my room with the sounds of our subconscious swirling around us. As I recall you also sentenced me to an eternity of mockery and dismissal of your intelligence. It is now my life's work to transform my mental reflexes from simple self-preservation into compassion, patience, and respect...thus I submit to you if for no other reason than to crown you as my muse with this covenant.