the best kind of service (a collection)

My service etiquette rule is that wherever possible, every waiter’s questions should be phrased as a request for permission

May I offer you some MORE wine? =]

May I take your order?

May I bring you anything else? (Instead of “How is everything?”)

May I clear?

Fine dining involves a bit of fantasy – you are the master and you are being SERVED by someone who has no right to know how you feel, whether you like your food, whether you want something (as opposed to want it brought), etc. Whether I would like to see the dessert menu is my own business; whether the waiter may bring me a dessert menu is the waiter’s. When I am asked if I would like something else, I am always tempted to answer “Yes, but I’m not going to have it.” Whether I am finished is my business; whether the waiter may clear is his.

The effect of this sort of etiquette is subliminal. Whether you know it or not, these questions about you involve a microinvasion of your privacy that is of no consequence in the scheme of themes, but, in the context of a fine meal, when repeated, have a cumulative effect, all of which can be avoided by a skilled waitstaff that only asks how it can do its job.

I often receive some extraordinary tips that caused me to ask myself “What am I doing that is taken so positivelly?

Most importantly, is that I communicate, generally unspoken, but sometimes in words, that I am there to serve YOU in manner in which YOU wish to be served. “Do you have questions about the menu, shall I take your order, or do you prefer I step away for a bit?”

When I pour more wine, do it slowly, I let the guest see that I am about to do it, and he then has the opportunity to tell me no. When I go to clear, I either ask, “May I clear, sir?”, or if they are talking, place my hand near the plate, and again, let him see what I am about to do.

In effect I am ALWAYS acting in a manner that asks permission to proceed with each step.

Obviously, I don’t overwhelm with questions, but it’s in my manner, staying alert to all the clues I can get about the guests comfort, and communicating to him/her that I am there for THEIR convenience, not that they have to conform to my schedule and routine.

reference